A Good Dose of Holy Ferocity
“Tenderly, I now touch all things, knowing one day we will part."
~ Saint John of the Cross
Greetings friends~
It has been an unexpectedly long time since my last newsletter. I planned to write before a trip to Ireland and the Big Island of Hawaii this summer, but it didn't happen, and now here we are, spinning through the cosmos toward winter. After a hot, parched summer in Santa Barbara, I thoroughly enjoyed the lush, green, rainy islands - visiting friends and family on an ancestral pilgrimage and driving a van for a group of astrologers on a sacred site tour of the land of Eriu. I reveled in the wisdom of my neolithic ancestors and their exquisite feats of ingenuity and observation around cosmic cycles and relations with the natural world. Beauty, magic, myth and the way of the feminine were the ground and surround, however, we also auspiciously arrived on the same day as the Pope and throughout the journey bore witness to horrendous stories of current and past abuses of children and women in the name of the Catholic Church. In verdancy and outrage, I returned to Southern California, acutely aware of the dry, dusty creek beds, thirsty trees, effects of fire... as well as the abuses of power, privilege and patriarchy at home, in the midst of a heat further ignited by the recent political and social injustices and unrest. Furthermore, as we here on the west coast are still recovering from fires and related devastations, floods and hurricanes have reeked havoc on the east coast, and now recent mass shootings have deepened our collective despair. The troubles certainly continue to trouble. In this, we are called beyond hope, to delve inside ourselves to uncover the truth of our beings, the dream of our soul and a life of meaning and purpose. May we have the support, courage, faith, steadfastness, imagination, kindness, truth and friendship we need, as well as a good dose of holy ferocity, singing and weeping, laughing and feasting, as we engage this endeavor and meet and greet each moment of change.
November 1, Samhain, in the Celtic tradition, marked the new year, the end of harvest time and the beginning of the dark time, the first days of winter (in this hemisphere). A time in many cultures where the veil between the worlds is thin, and we remember in gratitude, our connection to our ancestors and all that sustains us in this and the Other World. As days become shorter, it is a natural time to turn inward, reflect on what we have experienced, and rest and vision for what is to come.
I am grateful to have the opportunity to slow down and take time to reflect and prepare for the upcoming year. In this spirit, there is not currently much on the calendar. For locals, check out the Women's Grief and Gratitude Retreat in December, and stay tuned for information about Dream Courses, Young Adults Councils and a follow up to the Soul Activism Training. The next local Community Grief Ritual will be March 30-31, 2019 and I am inspired to offer more initiatory programs for youth, as well as continue to provide opportunities for people to cultivate connection, compassion and community both locally and beyond. Stay tuned for updates as dates and programs are confirmed for next year.
Thanks to so many of you who reached out in response to my last newsletter. Thank you to all of you who continue to show up to and for the programs, groups, sessions, councils, talks, etc. I keep offering... your presence enriches myself and others in a shared field of openness and mutual tussling with what it means to be human in this time and place, and how to surrender and respond to what it is we are being called to in service to life. I am deeply grateful and honored.
in love and blessing,
Alexis
Upcoming Events
Women's Grief and Gratitude Retreat
December 8-9, 2018
Arroyo Hondo Preserve, CA
Camping
Join us for a weekend camping retreat to explore our grief and gratitude in communion with each other and the land. We will share in circle, engage in ritual, have time on the land, sing and dance, weep and laugh.
With Sharon Tollefson, Elizabeth Gonella, and others.
Saturday 9am - Sunday 4pm.
Register by November 25
Mundane Miracles, Holy Wonders & Other Tidbits
SEA STARS
I am very grateful to live near the ocean. Even though at times I lament the sparseness of fresh water due to years of drought, I receive abundant gifts from the salty sea. Not too long ago, I was walking on the beach at low tide with a friend, enjoying conversation and the beauty of the morning. As we passed by familiar rocks covered with muscles and sea anenomes, she excitedly asked, "Is that a starfish?" I followed her gaze to a bright orange area on the underside of a large rock. If you are not from this part of the world, then let me tell you that until about five years ago the area would have been covered with starfish, the orange and purple thick bodied sea stars, and the thin legged ones too. However, I have not personally seen one in years despite my very frequent walks on the beach. Since 2013, almost all of the starfish have been killed, from Alaska to Baja California, as a result of sea star wasting syndrome, a virus of undetermined origin associated with warmer water temperatures (read climate change). So you can imagine my surprise and elation, when I lifted up a strand of sea weed, and lo and behold, there was a bright orange starfish - Ochre Sea Star, Pisaster Ochraceus Segnis. Seeing this creature after years of its absence reminded me of a story I heard from a wild and mischievous teacher regarding seeds and the mystery of life. It was known in some of the rural villages in Guatemala, where he lived, that on occasion, after a good rain, long forgotten seeds would sprout out of the walls of the old mud houses, bearing flowers and fruits never before seen, but heard about in the stories of the old ones, waiting for just the right conditions and circumstances to return again. Along the same thread, another indigenous elder, from the Aleutian Islands on the coast of Alaska, shared his experience of grief as a young boy, when he realized the traditional masks of his people were all lost and forgotten. He was advised by his elder to go out onto the water and sit very quietly for a very long time until he connected to the place from which all things, all traditions, originate - the womb of the world so to speak. The elder shared that the masks resided there waiting to come forth at the right moment. And they did.
ODE TO CLOUDS
I read an article this summer in a local publication entitled, Southern California is Losing Its Clouds: New Study Reveals a Significant Decline Since the 1970s. Apparently "cloud cover is plummeting in southern coastal California," according to a climatologist. I was struck by the absurdity and the impossibility of this... and yet the truth, local clouds on the brink of extinction. So much is changing, lost, forgotten... is there anything exempt from the hand of this uncertain fate? Clouds, are a feast for the imagination, as well as being essential for the earth-atmosphere system, as they help regulate the earth's energy balance by reflecting and scattering solar radiation and absorbing earth's infrared energy. Those ephemeral passing beauties, signifying change and weather, moisture and life. Whimsy. Rain. Rainbows. Protection from the sun. Storms. Heavenly realms. Enchantment. As we learn to dwell in a field of uncertainty, it is good to pause a moment and reflect on the beauty and majesty of clouds. Lift your gaze and look up or outside through the window at the vastness of the sky, our atmosphere and beyond, and breathe in, knowing your heart is as vast. Find a way wherever you are to honor clouds, and for that matter, everything else you see, smell, hear, touch, taste and feel... all the 10,000 things on the cusp of now. We never know when something we notice or may not have noticed, might disappear.
BOOKS I HAVE RECENTLY ENJOYED
Linda Kohanov: The Tao of Equus
Sharon Blackie: If Women Rose Rooted
OTHER RESOURCES THAT HELP
Michael Meade Mosaic Voices Podcast: Hope and Despair #95
VOTING
We are on the eve of midterm elections in the US, and have the possibility to reshape our government and change our collective dream. Whether or not democracy is currently working or for that matter, your personal cup of tea, let us cast our votes for justice, truth and peace and all that is good, however we do it, in the voting booth and in our every day actions and prayers.
Voting Guide for Santa Barbara, CA Thanks to Art Ludwig of Oasis Design.
Choosing Love and Life in the Face of Complete Uncertainty and Risk
Global Youth Peace Summit Gathering
"Let us risk the wildest places, lest we go down in comfort and despair."
~ Mary Oliver
Greetings friends~
Spring is springing here in Santa Barbara County. We had several rains this past season, which although necessitated folks in high risk zones to evacuate repeatedly, also gratefully brought clear water flowing to the streams, new green life to the land, the blossoming of wild flowers and happy bellies of critters. Given the challenges we all face in our personal lives, communities and in the world, it is good to feel the spirit of renewal which accompanies the welcome water and turn of the seasons. Nature is a good teacher that way, in the natural rhythms of letting go and coming forth.
Around the Spring Equinox we held a Grief Ritual at an old barn in a local canyon. Amidst the oaks and sycamores, 35 men and women came together to honor grief in a collective ritual of beauty, rawness and communion. At the end of the day, several of us walked downstream to the ocean to bring our offerings to the sea. On our return, one of our party noticed a large fish, 18 inches long, moving upstream through the clear water in a cement tunnel up a fish ladder, which is how the stream passes under the highway at this particular spot --- a steelhead trout! Last spring, this stream, with very little water due to years of drought, was home to steelhead eggs. This brought scientists and nature enthusiasts, as the steelhead have been endangered in this area for some time. In all my years frequenting these front country streams, I have never seen a fish this size. It was a blessing and a reminder of change and possibility. Only 3 years ago (almost to the day on May 19), a corroded pipeline deposited 3,400 barrels of crude oil into one of the most biologically diverse coastlines on the west coast in the Refugio Oil Spill and devastated the area. A couple weeks ago, Caltrans approved a 60 million dollar project to build a wildlife bridge over the 101 freeway about 60 miles south of here to open the way for mountain lions, bobcats, coyotes, deer, and other animals to maneuver around a human centered world. If completed this wildlife crossing will be the first in California.
I have recently crossed a sort of wildlife bridge in my life, indeed, a powerful threshold. Life conspired, as it does, to provide just the right circumstances for me to hit and reveal unexpected hard edges. Eventually through intense fear and reactivity, incredible resistance, and much letting go and surrender, I have found myself on the other side, choosing love and life in the face of complete uncertainty and risk. It is a holy and humbling journey to undefend the heart and keep it open in the face of inevitable loss, disappointment, and pain. Profoundly challenging. And that is without any real threat to my person, dignity, rights, lifestyle and life. I am beyond blessed for that privilege. Deep bows to human beings who are willing to forgive, heal, choose love, offer shelter to each other. It is a miracle, to be alive, in the reciprocal exchange of love and gratitude. To know our vulnerability, and that of others, and be kind and merciful.
In the spirit of gratitude, for the whole non-human and human world, for ladders and bridges, I offer thanksgiving for the blessing of being and working with some amazing people in the past months. Men and women with the Santa Barbara Bucket Brigade, shoveling and digging along side each other in awesome community solidarity.The courageous women who have joined me for a 6 month Soul Activism training, those in a recent initiatory mentorship journey, as well as a 12 week dream group series which just ended. The staff of My Friend's Place, a homeless youth shelter in Los Angeles, who are bringing the practice of council to their work. Antioch students who are exploring and re-imagining mental health in the context of a sick culture. Pacifica Graduate Institute students who sit in council every month to share and listen from the heart. The brave men and women who show up to honor grief in community. All of the people I am honored to accompany on their paths of remembering wholeness. My family and friends and animal companions - particularly steelhead, gray whales, dolphins, blue heron, bobcat, my cat, and the little bird - black phoebe? - who flew in my open front door yesterday and let me pick her/him/they up to take back outside.
I invite you to read below for upcoming programs and events.
I hope to see you.
with love and blessings,
Alexis
Upcoming Events
June 9, 2018
Arroyo Hondo Preserve, Santa Barbara
ALL WELCOME
An opportunity to honor our personal and collective grief with regards to the sorrows of the world, loss of loved ones, ancestral grief, trauma, places in ourselves that have not known love, what we expected and did not receive, and the reality that everything we love, we will lose.
June 22 - 30, 2018
San Emigdio Mountains, CA
Ages 18-28
Join us for a 9 day immersion to honor your transition into adulthood with 3 days and nights alone in the wilderness. Supported by a circle of peers and guides Alexis Slutzky & Shawn Berry.
Register by May 21
Young Adults Council: Dreaming Our Future
June 6 7-9pm
Yoga Soup, Santa Barbara
Ages 18-28
Show up with other 20 something folks to share and listen from the heart about what is moving in you during these times. What are the dreams you are carrying for yourself and the world? Dreams from the mystery of the night as well as dreams and longings and visions from the day.
Global Youth Peace Summit
June 10 - June 15, 2018
Nevada City, CA
Ages 14-17
I will be a part of the 6th Annual California Global Youth Peace Summit next month, June 2018. The summit brings together 50+ youth from more than 20 countries for a week focused on leadership development, personal growth, and cultural exchange. Youth who participate come from all walks of life including youth born and raised in California as well as immigrant and refugee youth who have recently resettled in the Bay Area and youth from around the world. It is an incredible experience of courage, creativity and healing.The Summit is still working to raise money. Please visit site below if you would like to make a donation.
Wisdom Rising in the Wild: Women's Wilderness Retreat at Tara Mandala
July 7 - July 14, 2018
Pagosa Springs, CO
This retreat will bring the spirit of Wisdom Rising, a movement started by Lama Tsultrim Allione, into the wild. Following in the footsteps of the sages of old who lived and practiced in nature, we will practice deeply, sitting under trees in direct contact with the elements, on the beautiful land of Tara Mandala. With Lopön Chandra Easton, Alexis Slutzky and Stacy Zumbroegel.
Register by June 6
At the Mercy and Power of the Elements
"It’s possible I am pushing through solid rock
in flintlike layers, as the ore lies, alone;
I am such a long way in I see no way through,
and no space: everything is close to my face,
and everything close to my face is stone.
I don’t have much knowledge yet in grief
so this massive darkness makes me small.
You be the master: make yourself fierce, break in:
then your great transforming will happen to me,
and my great grief cry will happen to you."
~Ranier Maria Rilke
Greetings dear Santa Barbara and Montecito community~
A native elder I know from the Aleutian islands, translates the traditional greeting of his people as, 'the morning tastes good!' It is good to be alive on this cool, bright morning. We have come through a most devastating time in our town and local area, first the fires and then the heartbreaking tragedies surrounding the mudslides. We have found ourselves at the mercy and power of the elements and forces of nature - fire and air, water and earth. Some people in our community have been brought to their knees with the magnitude of loss - the death of loved ones and children, physical injuries, home and belongings, and most of us, even those not directly impacted, have experienced the loss of safety, predictability and certainty. Furthermore, in times of such pain, often other unrelated and untended griefs may come to the surface, from our personal and ancestral history as well as the sorrows of the world and our shared context for this tragedy - our relationship to the natural world. The last weeks have required many of us to stretch beyond our imagination and certainly beyond our capacity.
Amidst the grief and tragedy, and perhaps as a direct result, it has also been a time of community cohesion and kinship. There has been an incredible outpouring of communal response and support - services, funds, goods and opportunities to gather. Literally, folks coming together, rolling up our sleeves and digging each other out of the mud. We are witnessing great acts of courage, redemption, beauty and communion.
Upcoming Events in Santa Barbara, CA
March 24, 2018
9:30am-5:30pm
Arroyo Hondo Preserve
Open to all
An opportunity to honor our personal and collective grief with regards to loss and change, sorrows of the world, ancestral grief, trauma, places in ourselves that have not known love, what we expected and did not receive, and the reality that everything we love, we will lose.
12 week series
Tuesday evenings 7-9pm
Starts March 6
A circle for women to explore dreams, symbols and archetypal images for personal and collective healing, vision and action.
Register by March 4
Monday evenings 7-9pm
March 19
April 23
May 21
Open to all
Come with a dream or simply to listen and be in a co-creative field in honor and respect of the mystery as revealed through the dreamtime.
Practices of Remembering and Reunion To Keep Ourselves Well In Times of Stress
February 17, 2018
It has been a most devastating time for our town and local area, first the fires and then the heartbreaking tragedies surrounding the mudslides. We find ourselves at the mercy of the power of the elements and forces of nature - fire and air, water and earth. Some of us have experienced acute trauma and unbearable loss and others have experienced secondary trauma and grief. We have all been affected. Grief is a given, and many of us have been stricken.
Certainly one of the deepest griefs in a human life is the loss of a loved one, taken too early, and particularly the loss of one’s children. Some people in our community have been brought to their knees with the magnitude of this loss. Many have lost their homes and belongings. Others are displaced and have lost jobs. Most of us have experienced the loss of safety, predictability and certainty. Many are grieving the state of the world, the environment and our relationship to the natural world as a larger context for this tragedy. Furthermore, in times of such pain, often other unrelated and untended griefs may come to the surface. Some people are suffering in all these areas at once. The last weeks have required many of us to stretch beyond our imagination and certainly beyond our capacity. How does the heart bear such things? How do we bear the unbearable?
Perhaps it can be useful to look at our recent experiences through the lens of Intiation.
It is understood that there are three phases to an initiation. First, the call or severance, in which we leave behind the familiar life we have known entering a period of unknown and exile; then, the ordeal or threshold, where we face great challenges and many obstacles, often with the uncertainty of making it through; finally, the return or incorporation, where we come home to our people and community, and integrate our experiences by living out in our daily lives what we have learned. Initiations call us into new ways of being and are the seeds of a new beginning. We can either enter into initiation willingly with intention, or we are taken there by life's circumstances. Most traditional cultures have means of honoring and marking the transition from one phase of life to another - birth, adulthood, marriage, death – through community rites and rituals. These practices have been mostly forgotten in modern culture.
For some time now, modern culture has been in a state of upheaval. We suffer from disconnection on every level. From ourselves and our bodies - people are anxious, depressed and lonely, cancer and other illnesses are rampant, and we don't trust our intuition; each other - we have lost a sense of trust and intimacy with our neighbors and communities and violence and social unrest is on the rise; sacred work - very few people have a sense of meaning and purpose in their work; nature - many folks no longer have relationships with the natural world and non-human beings. Our culture itself may be considered to be in a time of initiation. A threshold where the symptoms of dis-ease and trouble are everywhere. The way we live - unbridled taking from the natural world and the future generations - in one of the most advanced cultures technologically, is exacting its toll on every facet of life. No one is exempt. The old systems are no longer working, new ways, although happening in many places, are still small tributaries and not yet mainstream. Many of us know that another way is possible. As much as we see signs of the malaise, we are also witnessing great acts of redemption, beauty and kinship.
The acute time of crisis, action and response to immediate needs has subsided - rescue workers and first responders working tirelessly to provide direct relief, find missing people, heal the injured, feed and shelter the homeless, tend the mourners. We are now only just through the acuteness of the ordeal, and some are still living with uncertain and heartbreaking consequences every day. One of the important lessons learned from folks who experienced devastating losses due to the fires in Sonoma County, is not to rush too quickly into the mode of recovery and in so doing, leave behind parts of ourselves and our communities that might still feel helpless, weak, scared, outraged. Sometimes, a focus on staying strong and muscling through, can feel harmful, even violent, to the soul. As the circling orbit of the earth around the sun takes us predictably to a new morning, and we make our way from one day to the next, and the days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, and the acuteness of the situation has dissipated and our collective field has stabilized, our attention and energy are needed in different arenas. We are called to new purpose in a time of incorporation - the slow and steady repair of infrastructure, homes, connections, and the soul, in the knowing of how deeply we belong to each other and this place. There has been an incredible outpouring of communal response - community members offering help, support, donations, services, goods, gatherings. It is heartening to experience the many ways people have come together to serve a common purpose and take care of each other. Let us continue to create opportunities to be with each other and not skip over the necessary bearing witness, listening, sharing stories, grieving, gratitude.
At a gathering to honor and tend our grief after the fire, a man spoke bravely about his fear that after all we have been through together, with the consequent shifting of priorities to what really matters, we would simply return to ‘normal’, and forget what is truly important and the deep sense of communion that had been established in our community. Then came the floods, lest we forget. Not that it is the intention of these natural disasters to bring us together in shared purpose and mutuality of support, but it is often the result. If you have come through something so direct as losing loved ones and home, and feel the necessity of neighbors and friends to help dig you out of the mud, both literally and figuratively, you know in your bones, what is truly of value and that we need each other.
Montecito is one of the most expensive real estate areas in the world, a beautiful and much sought after place to live, drawing people with great means and resources. Although we know that everyone suffers and no one is exempt from loss and sorrow, and also that folks on the full spectrum of the socio-economic scale call Montecito home, most often tragedies connected to the global climate crisis have visited people in poor and marginalized communities. Knowing that even those of us who seem to have the privilege of wealth, which may afford the possibility of shielding and insulating against some of the rougher edges of the world, are not protected from the troubles of these times offers a poignant awakening.
The idea of recovery carries a sense of returning to a previous state of being, but if we have truly allowed ourselves to be undone by what has occurred, it is not possible to return to life as we have known it, as what has come before is gone. This is the way of initiation. When we return, our life gives us the opportunity to live into our new incarnation, moment by moment. We do not recover, so much as we are forever changed, and by the grace of god, and with help from each other and life affirming practices, find a way to bear the unbearable and live with things as they are as open – heartedly as possible. We open and uncover our hearts, and god-willing, cover them less each day, to live with grief, not as an emotional state to get over or through, but as a natural and essential part of this human experience. In the Tzutzil Mayan language, the same word is used for griefand gratitude, because we grieve what we love so much, and our love for everything in this world contains our inevitable loss.
People speak of finding the new normal, which on the surface, implies that we cannot return to the way things were. However, the word normal also confines us to a narrow range of acceptability, which might be part of our trouble. What if we banished the idea of normal altogether and got to the real work of honoring diversity, taking care of each other, the earth and ourselves? I hear others speak the prayer, 'please do not let us/me return to normal/business as usual'. We have a desire to know that our suffering holds redemption. The word redemption, at its root, is about changing our minds. To be redeemed is to have a change of heart and be transformed, aligned with our true belonging in grace. Although we would never wish suffering on anyone, it is a fact of life, and often serves as a gateway to our growth and evolution, personally and collectively. And though this is for each person to understand for themselves as they wrestle with the the journey of coming home, crises are poignant opportunities for awakening and change, if we allow ourselves to be transformed.
Helpful Reminders & Practices
It is important to keep ourselves well tended in times of stress. Of course there are the basics of getting plenty of rest, eating good food, staying hydrated, sharing loving company, being of service to others and exercising the body. Here are some additional reminders:
Honor yourself - There is no prescription or right way to grieve or heal. It is different for each person. Honor yourself and your way, as well as honoring others. Allow yourself to feel what you feel and how you feel it. It is natural to experience a mix of emotions: grief, shock, anger, gratitude, hopelessness, fear, despair, rage. As long as you do not cause harm to yourself or another by acting on your feelings, let yourself feel what you feel. In this culture of heroism, we are conditioned to stay strong and carry on, pushing down feelings associated with weakness, vulnerability or being too much. There is also a tendency to focus exclusively on the light, without acknowledging what might live in the dark. Welcome all the feelings.
Compassion – We are all doing our best. Have mercy on yourselves and each other. Know that during times of stress often our less than positive coping strategies emerge. Give yourself a break. Give the same break to others.
Connect with others – We are social animals. Do not try to do this alone. Grief is communal. Most of us are conditioned to isolate under times of stress and may even pride ourselves on not needing anyone. We need each other. Grief requires containment and release, and by ourselves we cannot simultaneously do both sufficiently. Reach out. Sharing about a traumatic experience with someone who is present and loving, helps reduce the amount of trauma that remains in our systems. There are many opportunities to come together. Be brave.
Be in nature – Spend time outside in the company of non-human beings. I know it is more difficult right now as the hills are denuded, many trails are closed, and the ocean water may still be unsafe. Yet it is always possible to find a tree, a rock, park, or place near your home. Focus your attention outward. Allow yourself to feel held by the larger web of the universe; take in the natural rhythms of the day, the wind, sky, sun, plants, critters. Acknowledge the elements. Thank the water before a drink, fire when lighting a candle, wind when breathing, the earth before a meal.
Gratitude – Grief and gratitude are two sides of the same coin, two wings of a bird. They are related and one does not exist without the other. Both are practices and skills we can cultivate over time. There is always something for which to be grateful. Give thanks for your blessings and what you have. If this feels like too much of a stretch right now, return to self-compassion and honoring where you are.
Kindness – Extend it everywhere. People are suffering. We don’t know the extent of it. Some have loss upon loss, trauma upon trauma. Kindness is medicine for the giver and receiver. This is our natural state as humans. We are wired for empathy. Be kind to yourself and each other, as a practice, always. This does not mean condoning or sitting back while unjust things are being done, but leading with kindness and the benefit of the doubt with everyone we meet.
Mutuality/Service - Do something for others, for someone who needs it, for anyone. Provide nurture and care. There will continue to be much to do on the road of healing and repair, find ways that work for you. Service is about being connected in our humanity. We all rotate between being the givers and the receivers. Remember to receive. It makes the giving possible.
Art/Creativity – Make art. Write. Find creative ways to give expression to what is inside you. Anything counts. We are born from creativity, into creativity. Share it.
Beauty – The soul loves beauty. Find it, celebrate it, create it, honor it. The world is made of beauty. Beauty making is the medicine the world needs, from your unique perspective. This does not have to be pretty, but real.
Music - What a blessing that we humans have the capacity to create music. Make music. Listen to music that feeds your soul.
Take a pause – Even if you are busy tending the tasks at hand, remember to pause. Take a breath, feel your feet on the earth. We are a culture of action, and that is necessary. However, a sense of urgency is part of our disease and both a cause and a symptom of our troubles. It is a radical act to slow down; even for just a moment, take a pause and register present moment awareness.
Remember the mundane – Tend to those tasks. Feels good to get stuff done. Be careful not to over do it.
Contact with mystery – Whatever you call it – god, spirit, love, force, energy, consciousness - it doesn't matter, but call it.
Check out – Give yourself permission to check out in a way that is not self-destructive - watch a movie, play a game, read a book. It can feel good to get your mind off reality for a moment. It is our cultural inheritance to numb ourselves against uncomfortable feelings; we do this with any number of things - drugs, sex, shopping, eating, etc. In this time, I am sure many of us have found ourselves tempted by, if not at the mercy of, our numbing strategies of choice. If this is so for you, forgive yourself and have compassion.
Professional support – There are many healing practitioners in our community as well as resources for working with trauma and loss. Seek them out.
My heart goes out to those still in the midst of such unbearable suffering. May we find the courage to bear the unbearable, together.
In love,
Alexis